Random things you learnt from films?

Baddies tend to avoid conventional trends opting for fingerless weightlifter gloves, leather jacket with rolled up sleeves, surf pants tucked into biker boots, bandana and a dangly earring. Be vigilant and avoid at all costs.

Against all odds, somebody with no formal training or qualifications in the field of artillery and its subsequent applications will 'out gun' a team of trained marksmen when presented with the opportunity of a 'shoot out'

If a duck weighs the same as as a woman she's a witch

That hoverboards don't work on water (unless you have power)

never to ride a motorbike without a full face helmet

You can make a woman with a computer.

there's a thought...

when out of arrows, use a passing chicken

tom green is a cunt

What I choose to call hell....John Rambo calls home

That they are infact not in the jungle, they are the jungle

never kill a made guy

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

An electric fence powerful enough to kill a large dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child

One punch will easily knock out anyone.

Wanna kill somebody barehanded? Simply turn their head sharply for them. Works every time.

If your car/motorbike won't start, hang around until a threatening encounter is imminent, leave it till the last possible second before retrying your ignition. This procedure is the most frequently diagnosed amongst trouble-shooters.

Arnold Schwarzeneger's morning dietry routine consists of the consumption of highly decorated tactical army officers and/or leafy coloured French style head garments.

Kid Icarus wrote:

Arnold Schwarzeneger's morning dietry routine consists of the consumption of highly decorated tactical army officers.

what film is this from bud? grrrrrrrrrr, i just cant think

its not commando is it?

10 points to Stefano.

when a bell rings an angel gets it's wings.

the slave wrote:

when a bell rings an angel gets it's wings.

i found an angel earlier.. scared me a bit

Americans stay on at High School until their 35

If ever you become worried about leaving your child unattended whilst you vacation, rather than catch the first flight home or contact authorities, leave them to fend for themself. In the eventuality that a couple of burglars should endanger your child, trust their intellect of traps and comedic timing to save the day. Peace of mind for any irresponsible parent I'm sure.

Being bullied at school/in the workplace? Befriend your local elderly Chinese ex pat. In exchange for back breaking labour he will speak in profound Haiku's and guide you (despite being an ungraded novice) to glory in your regional martial arts tournament where (by all rights) you will be pitted against your tormentor.

Good luck.

that washing cars and painting fences makes you a karate champion

If you're being attacked by a giant monster and chased around a city your camcorder will never run out of battery power.