Funny yet sadly all too true

1. Teaching Maths in 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitats of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the ! Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving barbecue of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester, upon release, is warned that failure to clear the fly -tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s, it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the government's expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist, and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.
The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths In 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج من
الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟

But it's not true though, is it?

Primarily I posted it because I found it a humorous take on one view of the modern age.

Don't take it too seriously Dale.

But sadly there IS a whole lot of truth in it and for me, being a born again cynic, that's what makes it funny

And don't worry mate, your blindness is only temporary - give it a few years

2017 isn't funny at all, that's the kinda thing that BNP supporters come out with on the net!

"I don't want to live in a country where my daughter is forced to pray a few times a day and where a hijab"

I actually read that from some paranoid right wing twat on youtube.

هذا هراء ، فسوف يقول المقبل سنقوم جميعا أن يتحدث العربية

قبل عام 2010

Stop making these stupid near to racist posts John

Any chance of changing the title of the thread to 'Not funny and not true'?

Ill advised angry comment deleted so persecute away

orrrrrr....it just isn't funny?

*this no longer works*

OK. I've calmed down a bit now. So let's be sensible and intelligent about it rather than acting like morons - sorry but some of your comments are utterly moronic.

Firstly, it IS a cynical and humorous take on some REAL aspects of our society - if you can't see that, stop reading this right now and get back onto 'Janet & John' because you just won't understand it. Anyone mature enough and sensible enough and without an over inflated sense of their own misguided righteousness would have understood what it was about and taken it in good humour. I obviously over-estimated your intelligence and under-estimated your naive idealism, for which I apologise.

Secondly, how is it remotely "near racist"? - A) People do get deported for criminal activities, only to return with different names to simply carry on with more criminal activities. B) Landowners ARE treated unfairly in regard to gypsies because of their status as ethnic minority. C) '2017' is a humorous poke at a legitimate, if exaggerated, concern that uncontrolled immigration in the long term will lead to the indigenous population becoming the minority. '2017' actually already exists in 2009 in some parts of the country. Ironically, if there IS any racist element in it, it's directed at US - the white English middle-class minority who created the whole laughable situation in the first place and the apethetic majority who stood by like buffoons and let it happen.

Thirdly, what isn't true then? Or is that it - that's the intelligent argument? You've read it, thought it through and developed a well thought out basis for your conclusion? Or are we just regurgitating the accepted mantra because that's what's expected? Were you around in 1970 to make the comparisons between education and society then and now? I was, and back then young people went to university able to read, write and add up. And judging by some of the spelling and grammar I see on these forums I'd say the poke at education was well deserved. The comparisons made actually do reflect changes in focus in education. So, what isn't true? It may not be entirely accurate, but that's because it's a satirical view on aspects of current reality and may include some comedic embellishment. But I really would be interested to learn what exactly is just plain untrue. You can of course quote the relevant sections, yes?

Fourthly, "I don't want to live in a country where my daughter is forced to pray a few times a day and where a hijab" - Nothing wrong with that comment at all and I totally agree - I would want my children to grow up in a country where they had the freedom to CHOOSE too. And considering Sharia courts have already been introduced in some parts of the country, it's a logical (although unlikely) conclusion of a surprisingly large amount of people that along with unchecked immigration, things could go further in that direction. Is that a "paranoid right wing twat" (which is equally as offensive) or a 'concerned citizen with the intellect to weigh up the possible long term implications of the current situation and be concerned about it'. YOU could be right, but I'm pointing out that there are other viewpoints - more than one way of seeing things.


Pointless as this all is because I know you won't read it or digest it, understand it or accept it due to being programmed with only one viewpoint, I'll close with a question for you to think about...

A) The BNP and other right wing organisations persecute people because of the colour of their skin

B) Somalia - One half of the population persecutes the other half because they come from a different tribe

C) The Germans persecuted people because they were Jews

D) YOU persecute people by ridiculing, name-calling, branding and stigmatising them and undermining their basic freedoms because their beliefs differ from yours


Question: Which one is NOT the fascist? (Clue: You don't have to pick any of them)
(The point here being that blind hatred, ignorance and slavish obedience to only one view, turns you into the very thing you hated in the first place because both share the same qualities)


Anyway, I apologise for the thread as it was obviously more suited to a more free thinking audience who could appreciate the humour.

Incidentally, the piece also touches on environmental, health & safety, banking, parliamentary expenses, DNA database, consultation groups, taxes, licences, legislation, and the difficulties small businesses face in trying to make an honest living.

Just thought I'd point that out seeing as you all missed that.

John, I don't reckon you deserve the stigma you're getting for an opinion on a few touchy matters. It is just an opinion after all, and ironically, the response you've had kind of makes your original point. Hey, I read much worse than that sort of stuff in The Sun - and if it's good enough for them and their thousands of readers...! The Sun also has boobies and Jeremy Clarkson. Buy The Sun - you'll never again accuse John of being anything other than a voice of reason!

Clarke

Russell Brand vs The Sun

Can't be bothered to read all that, just pointing out incase my post was read wrong I wasn't actually calling you a racist Jon.

Its just not the forum to be making edgey political points/jokes on, this place is about KH and having a friendly laugh

Nobody on here can really be described as a moron everyone understood your point we just didn'tfind it funny or informative

I just thought it wasn't funny...bnp voters would bloody love that though!

British jobs for british people and all that!

It's not true because despite what you think tests have never dumbed down to that degree.

Are we really being told what's funny by a guy who though a t-shirt with the slogan 'Set the curry on fire' was not only humourous; but a joke to begin with?

oh and so you don't throw a wobbler again.

Well reading all that I guess that its a bloody good job that immigration to this country isn't unchecked then eh! We can all relax safe in the knowledge that we aren't going to be over run by the tyrranical immigrants with their evil shops and devilish accents, now lets hear no more about it